Lessons to learn From Tv Shows TODAY.

First of all you don’t have to be a genius to know that tv shows these days are all the same. Same storyline, different actors, same concept. Its all become one mind fucking frenzy. So bearing that in mind i have come up with the following conclusions:

1.Cops can’t solve cases on their own.

Its either that the mantra of these guys sitting on their job and eating donuts is getting to them or police work is veeery easy and can be done by any tom dick or harry out there who has some connections in a police precinct.

I have seen very little, a handful of series whereby the detectives or police precinct in general is doing their work without help. But hey, we still love the fact that these civilians can solve crimes 😀 .

In fact i think that these series go out to be the best TV shows ever. Am i right or am i right?

 

2. Sooner or later i will have powers.

Finally people have stopped biting each other in the neck and turning into vampires. That story line was getting tooo old too fast and it was about time some geeky characters thought of another mutation. Am not a fan of growing a tail on my ass but i like to feel that am superhuman. At least that’s what your girlfriend says. :-P.

Something else that i have learnt is that species evolve and sooner or later i will know whether i am human or have some BEN 10 gene in my system.

 

So far i have managed to see perfectly without my dorky spectacles and soon il be climbing up walls 😀

OH by the way .I meant the lateral kind of walls by the way 😀

3.There’s not a problem that cant be solved if you have the right Fixer

From diffusing bombs to rigging in the president. No two names have been mentioned more than the likes of this two when it comes to saving the nation. One who uses guns and a mean scary mug to fix a problem and one who uses extremely good looks and connections to fix another.

4. Sex scenes are more important than the actual story line

How TV shows have evolved i tell you is just amazing. Very few shows  were rated 18  SNVL back in the day. I used to watch basic instinct by Sharon stone on rewind as the scarcity of these kind of shows was immense. Sneaking up late in the night to watch the ‘while-the-kids-are-asleep-shows’.

These days shows are not even rated, where will you even start? Name one single series that doesn’t have sex on it.Not just PG sex but hot crazy raunchy get-you-all hot-n-bothered sex.  I appreciate the fact that people are enhancing and appreciating their sexuality i really do. But id rather have more of the story line than the sex scenes. If not id rather subscribe to porn hub or etc.

And that ladies and gents is what i have learnt so far from tv shows these days.  I bet you have learnt a lot; please free to add on the list.

Keep it nosy. 😉

The Sad State/ Reality Of The Working class

Work is the curse of the drinking class -Oscar Wilde.

Let alone being stuck in a 8- 5 Job which is dragging your self esteem down. Let alone having a nagging boss who if you really had a chance you would slowly and painfully make him or her miserable. Let alone the fact that you are really overworked and meagerly underpaid. Most of us have already gotten around that fact and managed to move on with life day by freaking day.

Every single day, searching the internet looking for that greener pasture. Where is this greener pasture by the way?! Do i have to be a farmer to know where it is? Let alone the normal frustrations of employment and realizing that the degree that took you a number of years to attain is of little significance. What if Universities just taught experience, because that’s all am seeing on the qualifications to be met when searching for the greener pasture. Experience they say, experience they say, if experience was just like a simple course in university, don’t you think i would gladly take it?

 

So getting over the fact that my job sucks. Job which by the way is to mean Just Overly Broke. If i was to do some random research i would figure that 95% of people hate their job but there’s nothing they can do about it. This is where i fall, maybe you too or definitely. To those of you who enjoy your work and every aspect. Kudos!  And to the fact of being overly broke. Bills, bills, bills! . Taxation for example. The more you earn the more you  are taxed they say. With that in  mind, will i be highly motivated to look for a high paying job so that i can pay more in tax and what have you? I doubt it. Of course i want that big car, that big house, that feel of umph that oozes out of you after feeling that you are making it that might make me forget.

 

 

Despite all this unfortunate barriers or whatever you might choose to call them, i as a working class have managed to get on by. Surviving you call it. Holding on to that thin thread that is holding me from falling to the brink of insanity. Sticking to the sickening routine gets me wondering, this is how serial killers start their murderous rage.right? . Might be another TED BUNDY in the making. How do i manage to get by a whole year you might ask? Let alone a year. A whole damn day. That 5 O’clock really looks far fetched. Zombie mode. ——-> My way of getting through to 8-5 without killing anyone. And no i don’t go out eating people’s brains. Just doing things in autopilot mode. Trying to be optimistic also works but sometime that plastic smile I’ve been putting up just turns into a whatever-kind-of-attitude.

 

That’s not the end of it by the way. After being content with all this things, there is always another blow that decides to hit you under the belt a couple of times. The having the worst paycheck compared to your colleagues. Now that this is depressing. Especially if you have more “experience” than they do or whatever comparison you would like to run to put you in favour. Some might really not care, but you got to admit that it is a tad bit depressing. When you don’t know about it,  you will simply live your miserable life in pieces peace. Who knew it would be tempting to take a sneak peak at somebody’s paycheck when its lying there next to you. I mean, humans are just designed to be curious. And we all know what curiosity did to the cat. Who knew that after that revelation that depression could actually be more than what it was initially. The fact that you have been asking for a pay rise day in day out and being rejected doesn’t make it any better. Anticipating every paycheck hoping that they finally added another value only to find out that if wishes were horses you’d be a jockey and a gambler by now.

Sad state of affairs really. I might be the only one in this kind of predicament maybe. Tired of reading and hearing  these motivational talks/ books that keep telling me about that dream job that is. Or guides to start a business or advice from some rich men who make it look simple and almost doable. I might be the only one who is stuck in life. Don’t know what to do other than Zombie on with life and expect least results if any.

The struggle Continues i guess…

Trends that Are taking Over The World

Back when you were a kid and heard about taking over the world, you would probably think of Aliens and some monster illusions; or if you were an over ambitious kid you would think of yourself taking over the world whichever way. However today, in the twenty something century, a lot of things, weird things have been and are taking over the world. Some of which include:

A. Selfies

DEFINITION : pictures taken of oneself while holding the camera at arms length.

Technology has been growing really fast. A bit too fast for anyone’s liking .

In Philippines, a mass being conducted by priests went into a brief stop as the priests took a short break too take selfies of themselves and posting to Facebook. During MASS.. i mean am no ordinary church goer, but..what the hell? pun intended. Lol. and  No am not shitting you read the full story here if you are a doubting Thomas.(LOL and suddenly i have my Sunday class memory back on :-D)

Other than that, we all know of the Obama selfie. Yes, during the Mandela Memorial, Barrack Obama took a selfie with one hot dignitary all this while his wife was not looking any bit impressed.

So this gets me to release a list of where-not-to-selfie:

1. WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING :-O
Explaining this beats common sense but anyway..So you bought a new whip and you want to show people that you can actually drive it and so without much thinking. No scratch that, without any thinking, you decide that the best moment of taking a selfie is when you are driving, speeding on the highway feeling all Jason Statham. Why not? Because you dimwit, this is actually  dangerous..DUUUUH.. Anyway i won’t judge these characters much because i am one who drinks and drives. So no double standards here 😛

2. THE FUNERAL SELFIE

We’ve been through this with Obama..

3. THE JOB INTERVIEW SELFIE

No am not making this shit up, i just discovered, the rate at which selfies are being taken, any moment is ideal for a photo session.
Now that you have this information in hand, you can go ahead and imagine all the selfie don’t s as i am sure they are a million. They are dumb people out there, don’t give them the benefit of doubt 😀

B.Hash tagging  #!*?*!

Count on human beings to overplay something to the verge of driving it out of fashion/ relevance/ market.  Ever since people discovered hash tagging, marking compositions /essays in schools has been hectic and quite discouraging for school teachers. Hash tagging has now become more popular than hash brownies. Which is a good thing i think if you are all about drug free world and shit. And OH if you are using #hashtags please ensure you are using it in the right fucking context and in the right field.

 

C. Duck Face/ Pouting

Or whatever the fuck its called. What am i talking about you might ask? Well this are the selfies that most girls are taking nowadays. The one where they have their over emphasized red lipstick lips out. Okay it might be sexy at some point because some of you have some pretty sexy lips and really know how to pull it off, but that’s not the case among many.  Duck face as lame as it sounds need some precision. So before you go posting photos, please have a mirror in front of you so you know how terrible you look.

 

D. Twerking

Am not one to throw words around but fuck it. Ratchetness is a disease that is slowly taking over the world and just because a dumb ass girl saw a celebrity do it that makes it all socially acceptable. Right? Wrong! You dumb bitch. Okay don’t get me wrong, am a guy, a straight guy and i don’t mind some girl putting on some effort in whatever she does. But if that effort is posting twerking videos on Facebook then fuck your effort and feelings. If you gonna twerk, which i hear is some good exercise for your lower back :-P, please do it in the confines of your living room minus the attention that will peg you as a local ass hood rat. And if you decide to still twerk, please make sure you can actually do it well so as to not look as a hoe and still make a fool of yourself. Thanks 😀

 

  

E. Photo Bombing

The good thing about that this trend is that i don’t think it will grow old. I also think some people have really mastered in this art because my dumb self tried photo bombing a lot and it really didn’t work out as i planned. 😦 . But that just shows how weirder and dumber humans are becoming. LOL

   

Happy Holidays, Happy Treats ♦☺☺♦ = 7 Drinking Apps To Try!!

Hey Hey , lovies….

guess whose back… okay i know its been a long minute, lol ☺more like forever i had really missed my blog and sharing stuff with all you lovely people, so first and foremost i sincerely apologize for my absence, now without further adieu….lets get into it…

so if it isn’t clear by now, im going to make it a little bit more clearer …ITS THE HOLIDAYS YAEEYY!! which means we get to spread loads of cheer and joy, celebrate and be merry. so ive  come up with my pick of my favorite drinking Apps so here we go …

1 . Mixology

iOS | Android 
Downloaded over nine million times and the number-one cocktail app on iTunes, Mixology (and the ad-free Mixologist, available for $0.99 on iOSand $1.49 on Android) offers nearly 8,000 drink recipes mixed in with some crude humor and mild profanity. You can find nearby liquor stores, enter all the liquor and mixer types you have on hand and search the database for all the cocktails you’re able to make, and share recipes with friends.

2. Bartender

Android
With between one and five million installs, more than 11,000 reviews, and a 4.1 rating, the free Bartender app is an easy-to-use personal drink-making assistant to which you can add your own recipes. Drinks are easily viewed, rated, favorited, filtered by title, and searched.

3.Liquor Run Mobile

iOS | Android | Windows Phone 7
Liquor Run Mobile uses your phone’slocation services to ensure that when you’re away on vacation you can still find an open bottle store after 7 p.m.—or find a half-decent IPA nearby. The database features more than 40,000 U.S. retail liquor stores and lets you browse by zip code or address for a proximity-sorted list or a map of all liquor stores in a 10-mile radius, with turn-by-turn directions if you need ’em.

4. The Wine Ratings Guide

iOS | Android
The Nirvino Wine Ratings Guideboasts somewhere between one and two million wine ratings at your fingertips—the largest wine-rating database in the world. It’s the top-rated iPhone wine app and pairs with many food apps too. Search for any wine and you’ll receive a hefty list (so be specific when searching) sorted by name, price, grape varietal, food pairing, flavor profile, region, producer, and designation.

5. Hello Vino

iOS | Android
Rated the best app for wine shoppers by the New York Times, the freeHello Vino wine app uses a simple, step-by-step question-and-answer process to serve up a wine recommendation based on either a wine pairing for your meal, a wine suggestion for an occasion, a wine according to taste/flavor, or a wine from a country/region. There’s real-time wine-label image recognition and a My Wines list so you never forget another wine, and a mobile site for Nokia, Windows Phone, BlackBerry, and other devices.

6.Untappd

Web | iOS | Android | Blackberry |Windows Mobile
Over 625,00 beer enthusiasts worldwide enjoy using this free social app for checking into beers, rating them, and adding personal tasting notes. You can see what your friends are drinking, “toast” them, and even check into the venue you’re drinking at if you’re also on Foursquare. Five bucks a month adds the ability to export your data, view detailed stats, and a special supporters-only badge. Read the full review here.

7.Cocktail Flow (Android/Windows Phone 7)

Cocktail Flow has a pretty solid database of drinks and recipes, but that’s not the app’s real strong suit and focus. You can use the database to make some good drinks, punches, shots, and non-alcoholic drinks, but the first thing you’ll want to do when you install the app is to add the contents of your home bar, or the bar at your friend’s house. From there, the app will help you find drinks you can make, guide you to downloadable drink packs you can purchase from within the app that show you even more recipes (many of which are seasonal), and walk you through making the drinks you have the ingredients for. The app also gets you familiar with bartending basics if you’re a beginner, types of glassware, bar tools, and more. Finally, Cocktail Flow offers a shopping assistant that will help you build a liquor budget based on the drinks you like to make and build a shopping list of the ingredients you should buy to make the things you like. Cocktail Flow is completely free.

                                                         

The Troubling State of Relationships in Kenya.

The Nosy Neighbours

Has Kenya turned into a state where relationship problems are more than the financial and economic problems?

Recently there was an article printed in the nation newspaper that spurred a lot of deliberation. With such a juicy title (‘Inside the mind of a cougar‘) that no one could overlook, so much vocabulary that your mouth would water just reading it. The believability of the article however came into serious question and debate and it is yet to be established whether it is really a fact story or just another imaginary tale. Well, mine here is not to question the credibility of a story as I think that it was a piece that needed to be written. It’s been a long time coming and I find it necessary to unblind Kenyans of the various relationships that are existent in Kenya. It does not take Albert Einstein or any famous…

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The Troubling State of Relationships in Kenya.

Has Kenya turned into a state where relationship problems are more than the financial and economic problems?

Recently there was an article printed in the nation newspaper that spurred a lot of deliberation. With such a juicy title (‘Inside the mind of a cougar‘) that no one could overlook, so much vocabulary that your mouth would water just reading it. The believability of the article however came into serious question and debate and it is yet to be established whether it is really a fact story or just another imaginary tale. Well, mine here is not to question the credibility of a story as I think that it was a piece that needed to be written. It’s been a long time coming and I find it necessary to unblind Kenyans of the various relationships that are existent in Kenya. It does not take Albert Einstein or any famous scholar to tell you that Kenya is deep in trouble.

Every single day a “distraught citizen with humorous relationship problems” (true or imaginary), calls in to a popular local radio station seeking help and guidance from the “dr.Phils” of today’s society.

                                                          

At times these problems that people have are too imperceptible to explain; well of course an individual can’t bear to understand another person’s problem and drama. However considering this fact, a number of questions still need to be raised and evaluated. Are there people out there who really, and I mean REALLY have these genuine everyday relationship problems? If yes, then I totally applaud them for their brave and genuine humanly urge to want to open up and discuss their questionable state of relationship and not to their best friend or to an intimate other but to the whole of the Kenyan community. If it is coming out of the closet, these fellows have majored and mastered in the art and are in a noncompetable field. They, in fact have gone overboard and walked out of the whole BEDROOM leave alone the closet.

                                      

Enough about them for I still am sorry for them and I do admit they really need some assistance. But then again who I’m I to tell them this, but the fact that they have called into radio stations only suggests that they require assistance.

 Kenya has been ranked top among the countries in the world with people having marital and relationship problems. 75% of Kenyan relationships are in the gutter and face risk of termination and only 25% are surviving. If you are wondering whether I have pulled this numbers randomly out of nowhere, then you are probably right. Although it would be safe to say that it’s quite close to that. Not that I work in a relationship disaster management center to know.

 Over the past few weeks in Kenya, there has been a lot of emotional unrest: husbands killing their wives before slitting their own wrists, wives pounding their nonperforming husbands.etcetera etcetera. But the one that really takes the icing on the cake, a woman kills her deaf and dumb son so as to save her dwindling relationship with her man.Just sick. This has to be an extreme case of bonnie and Clyde where both parties deeply in love indulge in crime together to strengthen their relationship or some weird excitement. So anyway my question and reason to write this piece is to establish whether there is a remedy to the deteriorating state of relationships in Kenya. Is it in the food? The water? The air we breathe. I think here I’ll use a very common phrase “the government should intercede”, although I think that we need prayers.

Although it is quite commendable that there are some Kenyans out there who first of all will vent their problems, and that there are those who would listen and find a solution. Kenya is a brotherhood, a union and no man is an island.

 And what if on a different angle, this is just a marketing ploy by radio stations to widen the fan base and keep people listening. If it is, then it is only justified to give credit where it is due. Here I thought that working in a radio station was simple. For this theory to be in effect, then it means a lot of research, estimating, predictions and all the dreary stuff that I surely wanted to escape would still be a constant. This would therefore mean that Kenyans will only pay attention to you when you are in turmoil and when they have an upper hand. True or false?